The Lamentations of Lammy Leonhart

Of Preludes and Nocturnes

2007-11-30T02:56:00.000+08:00

It takes MUCH MORE THAN THAT to take the life of the resilient soul-

-but I disgress.

On a particular Monday of some time past, the mind of this poor vessel almost crumbled onto itself - a very VERY horrific enactment of the worst kind of entropy ever imagined.

Because of only one little factor called failure.

Because failure, in this case, does NOT exist in thy's dictionary. And/or life. They never do - 'coz I never get to know them, and DIDN'T want to know them. And thus, IT has visited me in turn for a little...bite.

I don't partake to this...THING...called failure well. Hence the near-devastating impact it had upon this person's mind and spirit that thy soul finally took its own toll. Forced to enter the darkest abyss, the brink of death awaits behind those ebony doors.

Fortunately, there is hope. Salvation, if you will call it. In the form of a certain...guardian. I would have loved to term the being thy guardian angel, yet he is borne of the demonkind, and YET the great possessor of a proud spirit, with a humane heart, and so much more that he is truly well beyond this world, beyond wild imagination, so far as possibly to be even beyond dreams.

I shall not reveal who the person is. A little guesswork is in order - yet I bear no prizes for guessing it right, for one can ever-always get the answers from Wikipedia. 'Tis not fair - it's considered cheating. Hence, you're welcome to try - only once. 'Coz it's not hard after all - child's play.

But alas, there were a few...other sentient beings that had to go...act of self-sacrifice for a greater reason. This I promise them - I WILL GET THEM ALL BACK, eventually.

Even though there's the reality-faceted fact that most of the things that I'd treasured is always ALWAYS taken away from me...I will do my utmost back to win them back, by hook, or by crook, and if I have to chop my way through to get what I want...I will.

...for the time being, I nursed thy wounds after that behumbling little affair. I am losing more sleep than Hannibal Lecter having sleepless nights, yet I know I have to persevere - for am I not, after all, the Resident Trickster God?... I'll never questioned that fact. Thy truth is laid bare for all who cares to see NOT look.

Yet a new chapter is waiting to be read, just as this wonderfully wicked show is comoing to an end. I had initially wanted to revel in it, but now...I don't care. I could hardly care, for the care on my shoulder that was my burden for all this while has been chipped away for all I care - because, thus, and hence, I can't and PRETTY MUCH don't care either.

...I only wished to see through the White Christmas, that's all. Enough bitter memories of yonder years. If Your Lordships would do me the honour, I thank thee profusely from thy inner heart and soul. I know, perhaps I'm asking a bit too much from Lord Morpheus after he'd tried to protect my passage through the Dreaming (and I shall be forever indebted to your revelation, milord), but alas, can't an old being like thee dream somemore before the End of everything?...

...*chuckles softly* Yet here I am, being a little tad too greedy again. *sigh*

For now, sleep beckons. Thy wonderful alter-ego is persistently trying to get me to call it a night (or rather now, an early day), and there is His Lordship to contend with...

I bid thee the same words I'd pleaded a few nights ago - and 'tis NOT wishful thinking, but really, a sincere desire - "Will His Lordship guide me to the light of salvation...please? I'll go anywhere you go, and I'll be good, I promise..."

-Lammy-Loki-

'Tis be the night, of all nights. XD

2007-10-31T18:36:00.000+08:00

'Tis be the night of all nights, and thus let them come.

OH, yes, let them come. The whispers of the echoes resounded in answerance.

For don't we need to let them revel in your dark glory?

I smiled a small quiet smile. Ah yes. Of course. 'Tis it's coming upon us when the moment's right. The Fimbul Winter is starting, after all.

The mortals have yet to realize. Times have changed, as I oh so happen to remark often these days. Alas, my kins do not take notice, for often not they wonder, words of a madman coming from me is at best not to be listened - because they're afraid.

Afraid. Yes. I did not merely need to smell fear reeking of them in vibes wherever I am around - their windows to their very souls have shown me so much more.

And I think I spied something else too. Something, that I have not seen for a VERY long time, coming.

Have you ever seen the spirit of Awe? Sister of fear, and cousin of hate? I see much fear in my brethren's lives, but more often the hateful cousin rather than the wonderful awe. For of course, men are forever in the doldrums of Envy - part 2 of the Original Sin. And with Envy, comes Pride. And with them all, forever now and always, Little Jealousy and Cousin Hate.

But now, once in a while, I get to see a glimpse of awe sometimes. Minute, small, fragile, but nonetheless there.

Alas, of course, mere mortals wouldn't understand this purity. It's gotten to their heads - as the One-Eyed-Jack used to mutter to me, "In this land of the blind, deaf and mute, only yours truly can see it all."

Indeed, indeed.

But upon conversation with a certain Dr.Hannibal Lecter, I have to confess, my views upon mankind is slightly altered if not wholly change. Though I do not really approve his actions (and here I am contradicting myself again), I have to understand that such beings as close as me do NOT require compassion from loathsome people.

Pity is a virtue, but Mercy is never who she is. Sympathy is long corrupted, and Empathy is trying her best to become a valid peacemaker between the beings, filling in the shoes of its long-dead occupant, only now known as Little Mary.

And alas, who do we sought but the kingfisher from Halcyon. We seldom see him now, too, for current circumstances does not permit his return. *sigh* I miss the olden days of tranquility, when we always get together for a good drink or two. And he'll dance his little dance upon the waters - in emulation of the grand Madame Butterfly who can awakened a hurricane from the seas just by merely beating her little wings.

Ah well. The time is imminent.

But milord, we must make preparations. The echoes rang again.

Hasten.

So be it, and mote it be. 'Tis the night, of all nights, after all. I've long awaited this night, and I long to relish in it however much time I have, before it elapses further from my grasp once again...into the descending moon. Not rising moon this time - Halloween's a little late this year.

And ah...I smell the breeze now. Tender strokes in my hair.

...I see. Alright. Lord Morpheus and the other Night Lords have promised a gathering, and a wonderful troupe is playing tonight - I long to see the new emergence of Faust from his Slumber.

And thus, I bid thee good night, children, sleep well, and may your dreams be ever sweet.

-Lammy-Loki-

And I can't even see the ending of the show.

2007-09-29T13:56:00.000+08:00

...for there's a traitor in our midst.

There is a certain limit for beings such as I when it comes to giving, and gaining, trust. When I am your friend, I trust you as a friend.

And because I trusted you as a friend, I also trusted you that as a friend, you will not hurt me, for I will not do anything to hurt you in whatsoever way - unless the need arises.

But that is not the case. Everytime. In every incident.

This friend, did not only took advantage of my generosity, she'd climbed on my head to reach a higher place to get Power. Fame. Status. Recognition.

And in the process, left me broken. Cast away like a broken doll after being used.

The worst thing (and the one that truly infuriates me the most) was, this being will come back to the ground for you - and dance on your grave, above your broken bode, in innocent glee.

But as I've said before...thy soul, is much more resilient than your average mortal life. You may break its spirit once and again, but you CANNOT break its soul. The soul...of good and evil.

For a trickster god, we are the the doer of good and doer of evil, and sometimes, we commit good for a greater evil to play, or otherwise commit evil for the greater good to triumph.

However, because the good counterpart has been...mislaid, the evil counterpart now demands retribution, and a sacrifice of blood in order to be appeased. One way, or the other.

And near kins of thee can testify to Loki's wrath when yours truly does get so mad.

Including thy traitor. My good Iscariot.

Treacherous traitor notwithstanding, there's a war coming.

And my enemy has now become the enemy of my enemy. And thus, like the saying goes, "An enemy of my enemy is my friend."

However, after witnessing the failures of several of my human experiments for JUST this year, I decided not to put too much trust in this new friend of an enemy. Just as I've learn the truly bitter lesson that ALL humans cannot be trusted with, no matter how good or how close are they to you as can be.

BUT it is fun, pulling the right strings and moving the right pawns...to initiate the next round of Ragnarok - and on a larger scale, even. It is only a matter of time before the first blood-letting cry rings out, and I shall watch, from afar...

...pushing the right buttons, charting the right paths, and of course, going on my most favorite trip of all - killing spree, in the end, eventually. But not yet.

For now, the changed beast is coming. This pseudo-Garm, in collaboration with a wrathful Trickster God? Hel is on its way.

And no Jesus, nor Judas, or hell, All-Father, will save those who stand in MY way. I have suffered for too long. Let the Wheel of Retribution spin, and I shall watch how the so-called Great Tyrant and all her Bitches (truly, they're all female dogs, including that traitor o'mine) fall and burn and truly rot in the last level of Hell.

...Just you wait, mortals.

-Lammy-Loki-

INTERMISSION: Operation Interrupt

2007-08-04T19:11:00.000+08:00

Apparently, the lovely show's gotten interrupted.

And when it's back on - everything CHANGES. The rhythm, the characters, the plot - I had NEVER expected it to change.

Now the story's become the re-enacting of the conquering of Adolf Hitler - an obnoxious overlord tries to rule with her skinny iron thumb.

...I'm starting to feel the growing tension in the air (of hatred? anger? I wonder) and the clinging of swords being sharpened not too far away.

Will there be bloodshed...again?

Hopefully not by my own hands. Oh no. The consequences would be indescribable. But there's the undeniable feeling that something terrible will happen - a rebellion of sorts, perhaps?

But I've got my own personal battle(s) to look into. Insane lecturers throwing red herring after the other is NOT my cup of tea. Bloodied scripting works that stumped even the greatest of lecturers (who, supposedly, is pro in his field) finally gets itself fixed by his student in 5 minutes (you know who you are ;P). Crappified connections that break every 5 minutes. And for the love of Loki, I'm being distracted by, of all things, a model figurine of Vergil.

And my own workload screams to be completed.

Let it not be said that Cain (who denies and defies practically FOREVER to be named) tries to remind this Abel to sod off and start working or else face the consequences. But alas...even the devil may cry if it is for a loved one, don't you think?

[Sorry, my bad for the utter randomness. I told you I am currently being distracted by the fallen-but-ever-lovable other Son of Sparda.)

But alright, in the end - probably will assume the lassez-faire mode for now until the time's right...to strike.

-Lammy-

Prelude...to Act 1.

2007-07-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

Forgive me for saying this, but if you DO grasp the gist of this, I congratulate you on your brilliant insight - if you don't, well, let's leave it as it is then, shall we? Ignorance for the human world is after all, bliss for me.

The prelude of Ragnarok is slowly moving to its next wonderful act - and I am proud to watch it be orchestrated on its own without needing my inteference for it to happen. After all, I'm in a lassez-faire mode now - let things take its own course, as our dear Sisters would see it fit.

For to spoil the performance would be to ask to be thrown out of the opera house, no?

But tsk tsk...I fear that my change of heart would set to change the turn of events...for the better? But it would BE terribly BORING if it takes that course. Reconsidering it, I realize of the other shards of glass winking at me as I trode upon the given chartered path...and realize it does not matter either way, for the show has begun anyway.

And thus, Act 1 begun.

Offering the blessed pure green leaf, we finally opened the 2-way discussion. The Lady Trickster against the innocent and humble diplomat (who once claimed that given that post is no different from taking a dog's job. Pity. I would have offered a better post if I were in his other position, but well). I told him the requirements, he told me his objectives - and for now, we have reached a partial agreement.

1) We will not fight the Battle for HoE if you'd assigned one of our strongly influential (and sadly, hypocritical) member to be the same post - on par with that evil woman (to quote a fellow comrade). The whole legion had, in one voice, voiced their utmost dissatisfaction and objection at having to work under that evil woman, and would, (with my advice), ONLY, answer to any of the Art Directors, than her.

2) We strongly disagree (NOT opposed, as fondly put by our "nice" Ms.Prez) to giving half of our hard-half-year's earnings away to goddamn-hypocrites bearing the crest of Charity - it is JUST not worth our effort, and the Great Ms.Prez thinks everyone else around her is a brain-fuddling zombie to be ordered around. Even the diplomat quietly voiced his dissatisfaction for that decision made. I offered a bit of advice as per my role - take 1/3 or less, preferably 10-20%. PLEASE.

Now it's up to him to forward that little choice. And probably get burned in the process. 'Tis sad, for don't war require sacrifices...? At least we'd meet at a point somewhere - and he offered his aid that if we ever needed an outlet to voice our opinions, he would be ready to hear it. *claps hands* At last, at last.

And what about the rest of Act 1? It is coming soon. Patience is the key, after all. I have yet to see how the legion would react with this "deed of kindness" extended by the great Ms.Prez. We shall see...we shall see.

For now, something else has demand my attention, and regretfully I have to see to it or I'll face the torment of sleep deprivation once again. Lack of sleep has the tendency to drive this vessel mad, you see, and I do wish to prevent that from happening. Good night, and good luck.

-Lammy-

Freedom is sweet.

2007-07-08T15:45:00.000+08:00

Have you ever tasted freedom? The absence of it leaves such a lingering distaste of heartsick that you'd come to appreciate and savour the freedom when it was ever, EVER, given to you.

But alas, I too wonder how long this period of liberation can last...

'Tis be the last day that I'm freed from my eternal prison of Earth's suffering. By tomorrow, I'll be back, trounging the lanes and chambers of horror once again in this well-meaning-but-often-not education establishment.

But I could hardly blame the place. It's the humans that pissed me off. Sometimes, literally. I could imagine thyself trying to hold back the mental fury from exploding through these lips to cause irreparable damage, and often than not, due to the action of trying to bottle up all this anger and frustrations, it's slowly but surely taking a toll upon this human spirit/vessel.

So yes, I had one of the most difficult time to go through, the past week. Especially when loneliness crepts in and whispers its poison-laced words at you, making a mockery of your pathetic condition, and trying much to tempt you to eventually doing something irreversibly stupid. Thank the heavens for willpower and the perseverance of this soul to hang on.

So while I stood in the Garden of Hope to reminiscene of days long gone, I'd reassess my situation, and found me to be actually in a position of power to do one or more trickery. Each with its own consequences, perhaps as a little payback to what they've done to me (well, here we go on the wheels of karma). But after hearing what my beautiful protege have to say, I decided to let it all go, and I also learn an important lesson on that day.

The power of forgiveness.

It is quite...difficult at first to accept it. Accept the ugly truth, and to accept it with conviction. But I have done it, and looking back, I guess it is one of the right decisions made after all this while.

By learning to forgive others, you learn forgive yourself.

I understand, the human spirit is unpredictable. They're the Jekylls and Hydes of reality. One minute they're impossibly nice to ya, the next they'd happily sink a few blades into your back without you knowing it (and oftentimes than not, they themselves do not realize it. Amazing, humans.)

And thus, if one is to blame on the seven deadly sins, REMEMBER, it was humans who CREATED those sins, in the first place. I don't blame it on Pandora who unleashes the ultimate evil upon earth (for she tried to redeem herself by releasing a pathetic-but-nonetheless-has-its-role-to-play entity called Hope), and I don't blame Zeus for putting it all merrily into a little toy box for a stupid little chum to open, BUT I do want to point the finger at the two little-biped animal who'd overran this earth to its driest point in lifetimes uncounted FOR the misery they'd love to wrought upon other lives, all in part due to their selfish human nature.

Why do humans loves to watch others suffer? I don't understand. Most of all, (and a particular personal one), why do I see myself suffering for their actions?

Hence, I pulled the opposite response - instead of initially thinking to let the Earth burn (whether by the courtesy of the One-Winged Angel or Megatron or anyone else with the talent to destroying worlds...oh yes, that includes a Mr.Galactus), I'll just forgive the humans who'd brought me the untold suffering beforehand, to do away with the pain and agony, and let there be a clean slate for the two of us.

And thus, from that moment on...Freedom came to me on her two silver wings, and gave me a kiss on the head as a reward for doing so well. I smiled in agreement, and took in all that's left in her wake - and truly tasted salvation.

And as I'd mentioned before...freedom, has never tasted this sweet.

Alas, I truly wish them humans would not take it away from me now.

-Lammy-

P.S. Will be back at TOA on Monday 9th July 2007. Will be expecting the next wave of "destruction", and I'm ready to counter it - with this new-found realization.

Back from the beyond the grave.

2007-07-03T16:02:00.000+08:00

Yes, dear. I'm back.

With a little bit of vengeance permeating from this soul, and a little bit of that stab wounds you'd get from the so-called God's beloved creatures known commonly as the Humans.

In a way, yes, I'm amaze at the wondrous things Humans can do - when they are nice to you. And in so many more other ways, I'm also frustrated at all the batshit and dumbcrap Humans can pull off too.

But I shall leave that matter to rest for now. 'Tis been a bitter year, and college life ain't improving - especially when you somehow come to this gradual realization that you are quite alone in the hellfire pits...

...with no one to go to...

...with no one to help you...

...with no one to hear you scream...from all that agony and pain you'd endured...

...no one to listen to your pathetic cries to let it all STOP.

It's actually considered a miracle that I'd lived through it all. Yes, depression got me again, yes, suicide was on my mind a few times too, and all thanks to a few well-pushed death-instintual buttons here, there and about this person. Suffering backstabs once again, it's starting to become so routine, I'd give it a shrug and said, "You know what? You, and all the rest of the human race, can be damned to Hell for all I care. I'm DONE saving your pathetic souls."

Yes, that statement rings truth - for don't I bear the power of salvation and damnation? *tuts quietly* And am I not known by my other monikers - One-Winged Angel, L, Rosenheim, and (rarest of all), Lammy-Loki the (resident) Trickster God?

Trickster God you say? Now before YOU condemned me for going a-worshipping a dead Norse God, please allow me to banish that little human myth, and let me show you a thing or two about initiating Ragnarok - one which I'm about to bring to the very Hell I've suffered in.

And don't mind me while I toss a little Wrangling or two in the process to spice things up, hmmm? *chuckles*

Going back to the topic, yes, I've comfortably assumed this Loki avatar of mine i.e. in common human speak, I meant that I shall speak in this manner through all my posts, whether you like it or not, and I could hardly give a damn what others thought of me - especially when you'd set eyes first on this strange style of this blog.

"SO old-fashioned." Haaarh. I'd like to divulge my true age, but you'd be very taken aback, believe me. I shall just stick to this 19-year-old human age for the world to see, for now.

And what of my other haunts? I'm not heading back to the first one - too many bitter memories there. There's the other hidden blog there too, exclusively for my private thoughts (or was it, really? come to think of it), and well, I just remembered this little brugh here when I was seeking a new place to let someone who wants to lend his/her ear to me to have his/her proper say here.

Likewise, I wouldn't bite, and if you could gain my trust (which is pretty difficult after all that has happened...my human kins who were once closed to me will be testament to that), I could really, be, the bestest of friends you'd ever had. (I blamed it on the Sagittarian blood I possessed that demands utmost loyalty to whoever we *try* to serve. Puh-lease. I'm the white centaur at that.)

So yes, it's official, I've come back to this virtual world under a different alias and appearance, tone and adage, and well...in keeping with this spirit, let's play a little mind game or two, shall we?

(in common humanspeak: Well, I'm back. Hit me whatever you want. I'd prefer nice welcome-back comments, but knowing you humans, a little acknowledgement would just suffice.)

-Lammy-

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DANTE?!?!?! >____<

2006-07-22T19:10:00.000+08:00

I was shopping at the Popular bookstore at Sg.Wang, and JUST after I'd paid my books, I saw a familiar figure on a pile of Chinese books just sitting next to the counter.

They were in Chinese.

They have glossy nice covers.

BUT THEY ALSO HAVE A GIRLY-FIED VERSION OF DANTE!!!!! >__________<

I was definitely enraged at the audacity of whichever stupid IDIOT Chinese writer/publisher to DARES to modify, of ALL people, DANTE into some fucking redhead and claiming it as the HEROINE of the stupid book.

And although I don't read Chinese, the English translation beneath the Chinese title is SIGIL SWORD.

FIRST, YOU RIP DANTE AND UGLYFIED HIM INTO A GIRL. THEN YOU ROB FFX'S SIGNATURE TRADEMARK OF SIGILS. WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?

On the other books, the pictures have suggestives postures, but they are all CG characters. For my entire reading life, I have not come across a storybook that uses 3D COMPUTER-GENERATED CHARACTERS for a cover. None, so far. But the other covers, despite different faces, they did look awfully familiar, I just can't place it from which game(s), but only the Dante rip-off is pretty much screaming off the cover to be noticed, hence I care more for this than the other books...

Now, here's the original version of that Dante. It's a wallpaper, so practically anyone can have it.

Now, HERE's the rip-off-and-girlyfied version of him:

As I've said, friggin' book's cover is glossy, BUT the image is still there. The. Fucking. Uglyfied. Girlified. Version.Of. All People. DANTE.

*starts rant*

YOU FUCKING IDIOT WHO TRIES TO PLAGIARISE DANTE FROM CAPCOM, YOU ARE ASKING FOR A DEATH SENTENCE. JUST BECAUSE THE GAME IS JUST A FEW YEARS OLD AND NOBODY MENTION MUCH ABOUT IT, IT IS NONETHELESS, CAPCOM'S TRADEMARK GAME AFTER RESIDENT EVIL, HENCE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN FOOL YOU READERS TO THINKING IT'S YOUR FREAKING ORIGINAL CHARACTER, FORGET IT!!!

EVERY GAMER OUT THERE KNOWS WHO IS DANTE (OR AT LEAST HEARD OF DEVIL MAY CRY SINCE IT'S CAPCOM'S 2ND BEST-SELLING GAME AFTER RESIDENT EVIL) AND IF YOU THINK YOUR CHINESE READERS DON'T KNOW HIM, THINK AGAIN!! CAPCOM HAS MADE A CHINESE VERSION OF DMC3 FOR BOTH THE PC AND PS2, SO WE CHINESE READERS/GAMERS ARE NOT AS STUPID AS YOU'D THINK WHO THINKS THAT YOUR STUPID CHARACTER IS YOURS!! YOU JUST RIPPED DANTE FROM DMC3 AND OF ALL ACTIONS TAKEN, YOU GIRLY-FIED HIM INTO A GIRL!!!!!!

A GIRL!!! DANTE, THE STAR OF THE DMC SERIES WHO CAN MAKE THE DEVIL CRY IS MADE INTO A GIRL!!

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?!

CAN'T YOUR FREAKING PUBLISHER MAKE HIS OWN DESIGNS??? MUST YOU RIP A RESPECTABLE BELOVED CHARACTER AND UGLYFIED HIM TO CATER TO YOUR STUPID STORIES?!?! OF ALL PEOPLE, DANTE!! CAN'T YOU MAKE YOUR OWN!! AREN'T DESIGNERS SUPPOSED TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL?!? WELL, YOU CAN FIRE YOUR STUPID ILLUSTRATOR!!! HE CAN GO TO HELL AND DIE FOR ALL I CARE!!

I REALLY HOPE CAPCOM KNOWS ABOUT YOUR STUPID LITTLE PLAGIARISM-AND-DESTRUCTION OF THEIR BELOVED GAME CHARACTER!! IF CAPCOM EVER FINDS OUT, YOU WILL BE SUED UNTIL YOU DIE YOU STUPID CHEATING BASTARD!!!

GGGGRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

*ends rant*

So yeap. Anyone out there who loves Dante as much as I do, spread the word around. Boycott this idiot's books. If you can read Chinese and know the author/publisher, even better, go and report him to Capcom. Let Capcom handle this idiots who TRIES to uglyfied Dante. They WILL PAY FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. >____<

-Lammy-

Operation REVAMP: Success

2006-06-26T15:58:00.000+08:00

As you can see, this blog's layout have been revamped from the normal typical standard Blogger template to a new all-white layout courtesy of http://blogger-templates.blogspot.com/ recommended by my good fellow blogger Denster. I especially like the graphic image at the top of this blog, kinda represent my identity here of your truly as the One-Winged Angel ^-^

I have not been updating recently due to some fiascos wrought in college where I had been reduced to a pathetic broken wreck twice. It's not easy to get up again to move on, but I did, with much needed support from my trusted allies at that time. And like what we people from the School of Intuitionism do, an eye for an eye. Vengeance has been delivered to people who deserved it, OWA-styled.

As much as I'd like to recount the numerous battles won, Father Time is not approving of me to be slacking at the moment (and true enough, work calls). BUT I will be back, mark my words. This ain't over yet ;P

Yours faithfully,
Lammy Leonhart
One-Winged Angel

Why Do You Hate Malaysia: The Conclusion

2006-05-03T14:13:00.000+08:00

YESSSSSH, Part 3 is finally up, after a long hiatus and for the people who has been waiting so long for it, here it is!

But first off, I would like to apologize for the looooong delay as:
1) half my life has been consumed by the final projects in college
2) I have been away to the middle of the world some time last month, and haven't had the time to update most things at that time

Since now it's term break, I get to update as often as possible!~ (if time permits).

And now, Why Do You Hate Malaysia Part 3: The Conclusion.
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How do we solve the ever-ubiquitous "tidak apa" attitude that has been the typical Malaysian's mindset for all this years?

We Malaysians need a SERIOUS wake up call. Yeah sure, it all boils down to the education because without knowledge, nobody knows anything. However, education itself is not going to solve it. Because even then, the education system is an utter mess – the teachers don’t care if the students don’t understand the subject just as long as they get their As, so there goes our ‘quality’ education.

What we should have done a long time ago, is to tackle each issue in an efficient manner. If it were me, I don’t care if my ways are ruthless or authoritarian, but as long as I’d solve the problem, everyone will be happy (and perhaps, grateful) in the end. Because somethings, a little push will not do the work; this is where the shoving comes in.

So the first thing for leaders to do is: stop being kiasu. If you really want to help the country grow, you would have done everything you could to improve their lives regardless of whether they are gonna love you or hate you. Example being the Penang MB, he should stop loving his warm seat and do something about his island:-

1)STOP issuing hawkers license – they are other ways to generate job choices for the people, like retraining them for certain works e.g. software training. C'mon, I thought Penang used to be our local Silicon Valley, right?

2) HELP the poor people – because people are poor, they have to become hawkers to survive. So we have to help them financially first.

3) FIRE your town planner – it’s because of this guy that the island is a mess. As in, the road system, the transport system, the arrangement and development of the buildings everywhere, you get the picture.

4) STOP building more confusing roads – same as above. The one about the island = mess.

5) WIDEN the roads – same as No.3. Hell, back in KL, if the road's too small to accomodate heavy traffic during peak hours, the DBKL fellas woulda have widen the road and compensate the owners in no time at all, because it IS their job to provide good service to the citizens. Us.

6) CONTROL the amount of development (especially the overgrowth of condos!!) – same as No.3.
Follow this art principle that has been my college's favorite (and sometimes, over-used and abused) motto: LESS is MORE.

MORE condos do NOT mean MORE money; LESS condos but with excellent facilities and that can accomodate everyone (rich, middle, poor) will give MORE benefits to everyone and the island e.g. more greenery, less monkey attacks on the 'hood.

7) LISTEN to the people and STOP wasting money on getting useless monuments built in the wrong parts of the road =.=
Most people (especially the conservative Penangites) hated the MB for this, because they know in the long run, their younger generation would have lived better lives if the money has been put to good use financially.

Therefore:
8) The best way of all is to fire the MB himself and get another better and more dedicated person for this job. One who will make sure the island GROWS properly and who takes care of the welfare of the people here. One who WILL bring back the shine to the Pearl of the Orient.

And the most important thing to come in play: make full use of your common sense and your brain. Need examples? Here you go:

1) If the leader is not qualified for the job, sack him, bring him down, and elect another person of a better capability. If you’re afraid of being stoned if you act on your own, rally with the others. Strong when united, weak when divided.

2) If you think speeding passed the red lights and hogging the road like it’s your grandfather’s road is right, think again. You may get into an accident, and even if you did survive, your car is totalled and you will be broke paying for the damages to your car AND to the victim you just hit. It’s not worth the risk (and money).

3) If you are not sure of something, ask. Nobody is going to kill you if you ask about something, and nobody is going to label you an idiot or donk or being stupid if you ask about something. Heck, people gain experience and knowledge by learning from others. Standing your grounds to defend a pointless idea is suicide – you gain nothing, everyone hates you, and you WILL become stupid.

4) Nobody is busy the whole year round. Always do the most important thing first, so that you will not be burden on the day you get stuck in a massive jam, stuck in a massive queue, and waste your massive time waiting for everything to get processed. Once again, one has to make proper plans to carry out everything – to fail to plan is to plan to fail.

Last but not least – knowledge is power. (My favorite, by the way.) We must not censored everything we deemed bad – how can Black Metal music means worshipping the Devil when the music genre is just a heavier version of rock? It’s because of the lack of awareness that makes most Malaysians paranoid, like the certain award-winning journalist who deemed Japanese animation is porn just because he saw a series that has a ‘different’ picture on it (AND HELL, that "picture" he saw is a DVD-game, NOT anime).

So you see the negative impacts one causes if one idiot groups a bad thing with everything - generalising without doing proper research is a BIG no-no, IMO. This is because people interpret things differently, that is why we share and discuss our ideas, and from there, new knowledge may have surfaced.
Therefore, without current knowledge, how can there be new knowledge? Without input, there is no output.
Therefore, we must learn everyday. Knowledge is indeed power.
And that is why the education system REALLY needs a revamp.

All this three things might have been sufficient enough to change the mindset of the people and make a better country. Once again, it all boils down to the individuals, because the individuals made up the masses, and it’s the society that holds the power to make or break the nation, either to elect a good leader or overthrown a bad one. It’s up to us to change our mindset, get rid of that tidak apa attitude, and with that, everyone’s lives would have been much more pleasant, and when everyone’s happy, the country will prosper even faster than now. Isn’t achieving the Vision 2020 what we wanted to do?
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And that, concludes my part on the WDYHM thread. It HAS been a long post (if you group the 3 together), but at least I've ranted my part. Now it's my turn to listen to YOUR ranting on your part - ya like the ideas? Ya hate it? Ya got better suggestions? Drop it all in your comments. I'll be waiting ^-^

And last, but not least, a little hint on what's coming after this part: My take on the Malaysian education system (my pet topic XD) or FreeTopic: you guys choose one, I'll give ma points on it.

So yeah. Gracias for reading, and see ya around, guys.

-Lammy-

Why Do You Hate Malaysia: Part 2

2006-03-12T18:25:00.000+08:00

I didn't really hate Malaysia that much, but some things just gets on people's nerves, though this is common everywhere, right?

ESPECIALLY the tidak-apa attitude, a common trait found in your typical Malaysian. TYPICAL, not all, ya hear me?

Like, when it comes to settling their year-end taxes and changing their ICs to MyKad. This people can’t do it earlier, but waited till the last minute to do it, thus creating a huge crowd in most of the government offices and making the government officers’ life more difficult than it is already (some more with their added delay – again, another tidak apa attitude), and as the day moves, the streets will get jam-packed with cars, creating massive jams everywhere in the city – pandemonium. Tempers flare, blaming everyone except themselves. Once again, they can’t be bothered to do the important things first until the last minute.

And this, is just the small annoyance, comparatively.

What irks me the MOST of all is the mentality of the Penangites. As Tun Dr Mahathir said a long time ago about Penang being the dirtiest place ever in Malaysia, there seems to be not much progress carried out to beautify Penang.

The first problem is their roads - they are dirty, especially near hawker centres, NARROW (like that stupid one-lane flyover), large pavements (if in KL, long time demolished already), and their huge number of roads is so confusing, only a true Penangite can move his/her way around the island.

The second problem is the overabundance of hawker centres – it’s so ubiquitous, it is these hawkers that contribute mainly to the dirtiness of the island. I understand that WITHOUT the occupation called hawkers, at least half the Penangites will be jobless. BUT giving those hawker licenses to almost everyone (including monsters who can't cook) is just a tad too far, right?

Third, with every hawker centre that sprung up, there is always a condo/apartment/flat being built – this means more destruction of the greenery, more hills become barren, the monkeys start entering the neighbourhood – but the people don’t care. The people here can’t be bothered to change. Just so long as they can survive/earn a living, they don’t care about anything else, not even to improve their lives, clean up their island, and stop developers from destroying their place.

Overall, because of this tidak apa attitude, because of this mentality, that makes most Malaysians’ lives miserable, and there is not much growth in this country in terms of civility, besides the high-tech infrastructures we have. Abdullah is right.
==================================================================

So WHAT IS THE SOLUTION, O THY NOISY ONE? you ask.

In Part 3, there ARE 3 good solutions...though words are just nothing when actions speak louder than words, right? If only these solutions can be put to good use...

...BUT you haven't heard of me, have ya? So until the next update, KEEP THOSE COMMENTS COMING! I don't care if it's a one-liner, a rant, a flame (but make it constructive please) or anything else. I WANT feedback because with feedback, you and I can learn so much more, ain't it so?

DON'T you dare give me that 'tidak apa' attitude about ignoring this noisy little brat who only knows how to complain. You are already displaying that irksome habit. So if you want to prove you are not, C'MON!

-Lammy-

My blog died. AND IT SHALL LIVE AGAIN!! XD

2006-01-25T17:17:00.000+08:00

Yeap, yours truly is back for more brain-cracking philosophy on life XD

And so...

...

...truth to be told, it's just the 3rd week of college, and I'm already having sleepless nights. This is of course NOT good, but one can't help it if one can't break the procrastinating habit.

But I WILL break it. ^-^ *starts singing* Coz I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit TONIGHT!!~~ XD

Anyway, enough crapping. Back to business.

As a matter of fact, I am DYING to post my hard-worked essay up (one that never got through the CSM class, mind you, because....none of ma classmates is gonna understand it), and so I shall post it up here for your reading pleasure. Have fun reading, digesting, and IF you do/do not get it, please comment! 'Cos with intelligent feedback, will there be more intelligent responses, and with more of these, the world woulda be a better place to live in, in the long run ^-^

And so here's part 1 of ma essay, "Why Do You Hate Malaysia?"
[First off though, this topic is NOT mine, it's by my lecturer. So don't sue/flame/arrest me for this.]
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What irks me the most is the mentality of the people here, especially their tidak apa attitude. Quoting our PM Abdullah that Malaysia may have First World infrastructure but Third World mentality, it is kind of sad to note it is true.

Because it irks me to think that since we are the leader of the Third World country, we should have set a better example for our peers, but instead, it’s because of this attitude that contributes to making a poor image of our country.

For example, on the roads, people never respect the laws. They will simply overtake another vehicle without warning, some who zoom past the yellow light (and some even red lights, just to get to their destination faster), and some who double parks their cars everywhere. Some hogs the streets like their grandfather’s road, even, and some tailgate another vehicle, and horn like no tomorrow to make the other driver drive faster. For example, it happened a few days ago that after having breakfast outside and we’re about to return home when this Malay dude drove over and parked his little green Kancil RIGHT behind our car, and we told him that we wanted to leave, but he actually IGNORES us and walked away FASTER to buy his 3D/4D numbers. (Thankfully, his action created a scene, so he quickly drove away after that.)

As seen/published in the newspapers recently about this certain award-winning journalist who equated Japanese animation to pornography has most of the young generation on uproar. Why? Because this said journalist can’t be bothered to do his research, and instead based on 1 hentai anime, he thinks everything about Japanese animation is about porn. Like, how can one comedy movie means all the movies are comedy, right? The worse thing is when he can’t be bothered to APOLOGIZE to the public, even though another major daily has clarified the matter in crystal-clear and simple-to-understand instructions – he wants to stand his ground, and this is what we Chinese called a kiasu manner.
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Part 2 and 3 will be up once I get feedback. SO START TALKING, PEOPLE!!

Update! New deviation! ^-^

2005-10-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

It's not a fanart, it's an original work by me, and the link is as follows:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/23870067/

It's Mysso, one of my OC (original character) that I DID NOT based it on Devil May Cry (just because she share a lot of similarities with Dante......^-^;;;;) and...the (pretty long-winded) part you can read on the devpage ^-^

Damn, it's raining in here.

2005-09-28T20:55:00.000+08:00

Since it's raining, I shall be fast and direct.

This blog has been inactive for a REALLY long time, but that does not mean:-

1) it's dead, and
2) I have abandoned it, and
3) I have totally forgot about it, oh no it's always there, and will be, and
4) I will stop writing in it, nope, I'm typing this, aren't I?

That aside...college work has grown (almost) tenfold, and I've been online like a few times per week, compared to everyday last time...

...so I guess the essay-long deep-thinking posts have to take the back seat, temporarily. Will probably blog about the latest updates at DA and/or college, whichever has more importance.

So yeah...as dear Salem Ashrale (my original character) puts it, "Good night, sleep well, and I bid thee, sweet dreams..." XD

My deepest apologies, dear readers.

2005-08-12T15:18:00.000+08:00

I'm deeply sorry for having not updated this little blog for over a month, as seen from my entries. It is due to the fact that most of the time I'm demanded to complete a mountain-high's worth of assignments, and I have been having sleepless nights for many weeks trying to finish them all, so please understand my situation here.

Don't fret, this does not mean the demise of this blog. I still have a LOT of interesting things to blog (and rant) about, so I just need a bit more of your patience as when the time's cleared up by next week, I will begin to continue posting more wonderful entries for thought.

...Though it will greatly help me (and yourself too, dear reader) if I can just list the things I wanted to talk about that I'd briefly mentioned in my past entries. One of them I know is the other 15 levels of Hell on Earth (which I will probably post it all in a few entries to complete them all), the other is the much-referred-to domino effect. What are the other things that I'd want to talk about....? *muses*

And now, I shall have to go. Till we meet again.

-Lammy-

Trip to Earth: Literal Hell

2005-07-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

There's too much to cover in one post, so I shall keep things short and only post the important ones (or, what comes to my flu-med-laden mind.)

The recent bombings in London is enough evidence to show that Earth is ain't no peaceful place to live on now. Nowhere is safe, everybody cowers indoors in fear of missiles/bombs/WOMD coming their way, one way or the other due to barbaric illterates and even worse, violent racists.

Politicians are just making hell of a noise for the sake of keeping their bloody seats warm and not exactly lifting much of a finger to help the world. Poverty's still in Africa even after so many years, but it's good to know that the Live 8 concert effort is being appreciated though I doubt the situation will change much. And politicians placed their pride at the top of their list, and I bet these words are their principle, "Are you with me, or against me?"

Wars are waged everywhere, be it weapon-wise, economy-wise, or knowledge-wise, or even, status-wise. Hah, we're all sitting pretty close to another WW, aptly named World War 3 and if nothing is done to dissuade the warring countries especially the one with the big guns and even bigger egos, well, you essentially get Earth: Literal Hell.

No, I'm not pessimistic, I'm looking at things the way it is. If you're feeling disgusted by what I've written, please close this window browser and go off on your 'peaceful' journey elsewhere, wherever it takes you. Shoo.

And now, to a smaller scale of Earth's version of Hell. I'll be talking about somewhere close by, nearer home.

Here in my place, though I hate to say it, but, we all aren't actually that friendly. And since this is a sensitive topic, I shall just say this: everyone has to be given their fair share of rights and everyone is brought up in the open in TRUTH, only then will racial unity and harmony be established. We don't want the May 13 1969 incident to happen again, please no, and we definitely not want our history to be tainted with any more bloodshed. We've been through so many things together (Japanese occupation, Independence), so why break this bond which is way thicker than blood?

The situation's kinda like a dormant mine bomb that once went off, it will change everything.

Anyway, we'll be moving to somewhere near my roots.

We all know about the China-Japan stuff, so I'll talk less about it. Only that these two countries has to reconcile their differences with each other or else they WILL be a World War. Learn to forgive and forget, like what we've done with Germany.

So I shall be ranting (yes, RANTING) about China-Taiwan.

As far as I know (or as far as I know in my history), Taiwan actually belongs to China in the first place, but was split from the mainland due to a civil war. Then things are patched up between them somehow, with China giving Taiwan the freedom to rule on its own but that Taiwan will still under China.

Apparently, the freedom to rule is taken as their right to demand their independence. So much goes the protest in the streets, the rigged-up shooting-before-election polls to get the bloody sympathy votes, the empty promise that the island will get its independence, blah blah blah.

You know what?

This is all BULLSHIT. Taiwan is under China, that's it. It's just a small island anyway, so why kick up the major FUSS over independence?

Looking at the way their parliament meetings are conducted (which is equivalent to watching much catfight, verbal abuses between chickens, and sometimes a bloody dogfight or two), I really doubt that they can rule on their own. Their own place is hellish enough. Just sit down, shake hands, and talk diplomacy between the two countries. Don't give me crap about wanting independence when their own people are fighting among themselves.

And it is this instances that make me thankful that Malaysia's independence is done in a peaceful and diplomatic way.

And now to the last level of hell (what? You think I'd bring you to all the 18 levels of hell? Dude...you'll not survive the trip, and your brain will likely go mush by that time, trust me. This is as far as you'll go.) where it is nearer to home.

Family feuds. Why am I not surprised.

I'll not relive the bad pasts this little topic will bring on, so I'll keep it short and simple: I find that the older generations are actually quite violent compared to today's generation. When it comes to dishing punishment, they'll hit with a rotan, or a belt, or if they can't get their hands on these two, they'll just pick anything to throw at you or just beat you up with their plain bare hands or shoot poisonous, stinging words just to make sure you grow up good and well-educated.

The 'tidak apa' attitude in today's generation (and much human rights) brings about children being pampered that THEY become violent instead and throw tantrums around when they don't get what they want.

One way or the other. Hmm.

Anyway, that's all for now. Enough thoughts for the day.

And I bet that you don't understand half of this entry. It's okay, I tried to make it so that it is easier to understand, but if you can't get all of it....I don't know.

-Lammy-

Singing Competitions - Justified or Not

2005-06-30T16:23:00.000+08:00

Yeap. After watching the Astro Talent Quest 2005 heats last weekend, I feel the urge to rant about this.

There’s that particular pretty boy male singer whose face looks like one of the pretty boy in F4 (so I shall call him the F4 wannabe) who just CAN’T sing.

His voice is too soft, his words are barely audible, his accent is SO off, and the bloody judges gave him a 50+ mark (and that, dear reader, is actually a very good mark since majority of the other singers score below that.)

What, the HELL?

Are the judges that DEAF, or are they just hearing-impaired?

Or maybe, the judges just loved that pretty face of the boy. =.= (3 of the judges are male, by the way.)

And no wonder the quality of singers these days are bad. Gone were the days of clear vocals and meaningful songs; these days people are rapping rubbish and making as much noise as possible with their screaming and drums-bashing =.= (no offense to rappers and rapper fans, ya?) or otherwise whispering into the damn mike like the mike’s a precious fragile piece of glass or something.

People/listeners like you and I who listen to good singers will look at two things – the ability to sing, and the personality of the singer.

The ability to sing is of course the most important thing since it’s the one which makes or breaks a singer. If the person who sings keeps singing off-key or off-beat, wrong accentuation of the song in all the wrong places, forgetting the words to the song or lip-synching, WHISPERING instead of singing out loud – forgot about ever heard the word ‘singing’, dude. Singing’s SO not your job. Go somewhere else.

And personality. Now nobody wants a rude singer or a shy chick singing, right? A singer’s job requires a bit of courage, and one cannot be too self-conscious, otherwise all the rhythm (and life) of the music will be gone. Nobody wants to listen to a song full of swear words (duh), but nobody wants to hear the whisperings of a ghost on radio too, right?

And the one thing that amuses me is that some of the bad singers (as in, really can’t sing well) who got kicked out of the competition actually CRIED.

You know what, kid?

GET. A. LIFE. Go whine and cry somewhere else. You should have expected failure and success together when you entered the competition.
Okay, it’s not a kid who cried. It’s a young adult, but to me, anyone immature is considered a kid.

Oh, sorry, did I offend you? My deepest apologies, then. I do sometimes speak out of turn, so please pardon me for this.
It’s because I just can’t stand crying kids. Or young adults, for that case of the wannabe-singer who cried.

Anyway, back to the topic.

At the rate it’s going, singing competitions are just another fad, another new thing whose novelty will face in due course. Because once people realize that all these singing contests are BULLSHIT and that the frickin’ judges willingly supports pretty boys and gals who just CAN’T sing, nobody will watch the darn show, and there goes the profit for the company and sponsors for the show. And in the future, all future singers will have to look another way in to get into the limelight (and that, is a rocky path. I understand.)

Every action has its consequences in what is known as the domino effect. (Don’t worry if you don’t get my meaning, dear reader…I shall, uh, enlighten you another time. Do remind me though.)

So, before things get worse, will somebody get the judges at the Astro Talent Quest 2005 to KICK that IDIOT F4 Wannabe off the stage before he does too much damage?

Or, better yet…how about changing the panel of judges themselves to other people who are able to understand music and one who emphasize the importance of quality singers?

Then again, there ain’t much that kind of people who chooses quality over beauty left in this world, or in this country for that matter. *sigh*

What about me, you ask? Do you think I can sing? If I can’t sing, do I have the right to judge this people?

My answer, is this: Yes, I can sing. I was in my school choir in my primary years, and I was the soprano. Therefore I AM able to judge whether a person can sing or not. And I really hate it when bad singers steal the limelight from potentially good singers.
Though the fact that I haven’t sung for the past few years, well, give me one week to retrain my vocals, and I shall sing till the devils cry XD

Enough of my rant for the week. Whoever said that my ‘Heaven on Earth’ is the place where I’ll blog good things? Heaven is of course the one and only Paradise (that’s where all the good stuff comes in), but Earth?
Hah…Earth is turning into a literal Hell day by day. Remind me to tell you why in my next post.

Now, dear reader, do you agree with what should be done? Or do you have another view? Please, share them.

The Good Ol' Days

2005-06-20T17:45:00.000+08:00

Right. This week, I shall be talking about the good ol' days that I promised I will enlighten you guys about it (but did you guys really read my blog?...Just wondering...)

So.

In the past, there's no PS2, computer games, Internet, handphone, blogging, the stuff you modern people have today.

The past, is essentially, to the modern generation...the age of the dinosaurs.

Got a laugh outta you, I bet.

But it's true.

I know I'm one of the 'rebellious' ones in class during my primary years.

And these are my crimes:
- coming to school 5 minutes before the bell (but that's because I live quite far from school...1/2 hour drive and the traffic jam, so yeah)
- practicing 'corruption' by doing my friend's homework in exchange to read a really good book/comic
- bringing illegal stuff to school e.g. cards, comics, games
- gambling in class XD (usually played 'cho tai di', but sometimes there's the occasional black jack)
- letting the person off for breaking school rules (I definitely miss those reigning days of mine as a prefect XD)
- terrorizing the rest of the common student folk (uh...not exactly terrorizing...they're somewhat afraid of me. All of them. Like the time when I saw two kids in class during lunch hour and they saw me, and they started screaming "Prefect! Prefect!" and they ran down the corridor as if the Grim Reaper had just appeared. Pretty hilarious actually, to come to think of it.)
- always doing more homework than required (I mean, Maths WAS easy...but Pn Dina dislike it, and I remember her tearing my extra pages that I'm not supposed to do from the workbook. Since then, I never tried to do more anymore. Definitely learnt my lesson.)
- reading books under the table when I'm supposed to concentrate in class
- got involved into fights (no, I'm not the victim nor the attacker, but had to play peacemaker between the fighters at that time. Sometimes, things got a bit out of hand, too. Especially when a student is attacking another prefect.)

And it's also the time I learnt to play chess. And checkers. I can actually defeat most of my chess-playing friends that time. And in checkers, they're virtually no match for me. Ah, the good ol' winning days...

Hey, at least I did do some good stuff too, like always doing my homework, helping the teachers, helping to keep the darn class quiet, went on prefect duty, the 'good little girl' jobs.

I'm essentially a bookworm by Std 4, when the reading-books-campaign by Pizza Hut hits off. The competition actually work; me who never touch a book since young is starting to read classics and many MANY storybooks.

Music in those years? Mostly from my organbooks. Then when I saw my bro watching some music video, I'm into Beyond and Bon Jovi. Michael Learns to Rock, too. Their songs are the best, till today. Too bad, the lead vocal for Beyond had passed away. But Bon Jovi's still rocking on. ^-^ At least their songs are meaningful and clear, not like today's rapping and much noise in da house...

And then, came secondary school.

I remember Form 1 is my best and most favorite year since I'm no longer a prefect and I can start breaking more rules XD Ah, the taste of FREEDOM...it's sweet ^-^

- I know I'd always trashed the whole Form 1 Aqua that year for every exam XD but I'm only always in the top ten during primary school. So it's a nice change of rank and status.
- got chased out from ITC for damaging school property =.= but it wasn't entirely my fault...the darn keyboard just fall out when we're fighting to control it...
- bringing comics/games to school right after the finals...and most of it got confiscated *sigh* It's UNFAIR...how come the head prefect in my old school gets to organize Magic:The Gathering duels in class after finals and yet here we can't even bring card games. What the hell...
- the year I finally get to know the Internet properly. Oh yeah. Std6 we're only allow to use those kiddy programs, but by the end of Form 1, I've already make the computer and Internet my new best friends. Neopets is fun, ICQ's cool, flash games are the 'in' thing.

Form 2...is pretty unpleasant. That's when I got promoted to Form 2 Cempaka, the so-called elite class.
Yeah, I thought the people here are the really really smart ones and expected much tough competition.

But I'd never expected the bullying to come with the package.

Yeap, Form 2 Cempaka made my life a literal living hell. The 'tai lo' is a fat smart snob, and the rest of the boys just love picking on me. The girls even played practical jokes on me! What the heck?!

But hah, I screwed them all the same.

I practically trashed the class again in almost every exams (well, I did beat majority of them, except a few excellent ones like YY, KT, and NL. I know I can never defeat them. But I treat them as my equal.)

By then, they did FINALLY learnt to respect me.

It's also the year I get into class fights. Yes, meek little me who was once a good prefect is actually FIGHTING in class.

But it's not my fault....That fat snob started it first. And that skinny guy too. And the other guy.

Played TCG, too (can't remember which year though). Pokemon, to be precise XD. The Mind Shop (re)opened in KLP, and my best friend CC introduced me to playing the card game. Got me hooked for a while, but there's ALWAYS new expansion packs out every 3-4 months, and ultra-rare Holo cards and/or extremely strong cards e.g. Rocket's Mewtwo are the rage.
But I LUV the dueling part. It may sound I'm bad, but I just like finishing off my opponent in the first 5 rounds of the game, just where everyone's busy evolving while I just plop my Rocket Zapdos/Mewtwo out to wipe out at least 2 Basic Pokemon in those 5 rounds.

Then Form 3...PMR year. Yet the year CC introduced me to the one thing that's now a part of my life: the Playstation. XD
From then on, I hafta juggle between studying and playing.
Got VERY addicted to Final Fantasy, especially VIII. Played VII too, but gave up on IX because I just don't like 3/4 tall characters.

Then I graduated to playing PS2.
Then comes Devil May Cry. XD
And much much more games.
And my fandom grew to writing fics and reading fics.
And the rest, is history XD.

Let's not forget those animes on AXN, ya?

And then I got my PS2, just days before my finals XD
But of course, I can still resist the temptation to play.
And studied as per usual.
Hah, study camps are ALWAYS a waste of money and time. I didn't go, and yet I still get my straight 7A's.

And...Mr Lee is the best teacher I've ever met. I think he helped me to finally discover my potential. He tells really great stories too, especially when it involves history. And I miss his Latin jokes.

No other teacher can replace him, I give you that.

Also the year I start and stop learning ninjutsu. Due to one accident, I had to stop going for classes. Oh well. At least I've learnt two arts of fighting ^-^ One's taekwondo in primary school, but that's another story.

And then Form 4 and Form 5, the years of the Sheat. XD

Nah, he's a good guy, only he's a bit too long-winded at times, but I can tell he really really care about us and wanted us to really really score for our Chemistry. He tried so hard, and got somewhat far, like making those African/Swahili/graveyard-zombie jokes...but in the end, it doesn't even matter...coz we ALL wanted to get an A for Chemistry in SPM.

"He tried so hard, and got so far, in the end, it doesn't even matter..." Dang, I'd actually just type the words of that Linkin Park song.

Oh yes, it's also the year I got into rock. And lovin' it. Linkin Park's songs are deep, actually.

And the year I indulged back in chess.

Only to be defeated this time by brats younger than me. Young brats from Form 3 and even from Standard 6.

I must be growing old.

But I'm only sixteen at that time! *sigh*

And the years I'm introduced into the next new 'hype' - MMORPGs. Ragnarok Online. Played one too many times an Acolyte/Priest that I got sick of it and got on to become an Assassin.XD

Man, I missed killing those little critters already.

And it's way more addictive than the PS2 at that time, so I'd actually played it a week before exams, but still managed to score some decent As and Bs.

And now...we're in the present. Gone were those good ol' rebellious days of mine. Ah yes, I miss the prefect years, and Form 1.

But we all have to look forward to the future, right?

And what's next?

Maybe the PS3 XD, more cool animes, new programs to play, MANGA, and the likes.

Woah....this post is getting a tad too long. Ah well. My story ends here for today.

Maybe you guys can share with me about your good ol' days too ^-^

Argh, this blog seems soooo dead...must make it active again!

2005-06-11T17:29:00.000+08:00

An avalanche of assignments just hit me, so not much time to actually posting stuff (all the college stuff has been posted in my Lj. Oh well.)

So...to make it more interesting, I shall talk about a topic weekly or biweekly (depends on my busy-ness). Besides, it's fun to have some (intelligent) feedback from you guys ^-^

And today's topic is....: The National Anthem.

Yeah, we ALL know what is our national anthem. Duh, the song's been drilled into our minds since, what, Standard 1? I'm surprised to find that some adults coulda forget the song, as reported in The Star newspaper...

But anyway, things have taken a little small step too far when they say you have to sing it in the cinema.

First of all: what is a cinema for? To watch movies, to see shows, yeah. We go there to enjoy ourselves, to relax, to take a break watching some action flick or some teary romance story, to bond with our friends, etc.

So, WHY must we SING the national anthem in a CINEMA?

Give me one good reason.

To build our patriotic spirit? To instil the nationalist spirit in us? To promote racial unity and harmony?

...these aims can be fulfil through other better SENSIBLE ways, my fellow ministers. Like keeping silent while the Malaysian flag is raised and 'Negaraku' plays in the background of important functions. In school we always sing the 'Negaraku' when the flag is raised during assembly. That's what we all did. That's the norm, anyway.

So WHY do we have to SING the 'Negaraku' in a CINEMA?

....we do things when the situation is right, and we do it after considering things in a rational way. But this act of singing the national anthem in a cinema?

It did not have a purpose...other than getting a good laugh out of it, but to joke about the national anthem? I think not. The national anthem is IMPORTANT to the country since it is one of our identities, and to simply sing it in inappropriate places e.g. cinema is totally...inconceivable.

We have to RESPECT the song, damnit! We sing it proudly when we're in the stadium, we sing it in school, we sing with tears of joy when we've won international championships and they play OUR national song for US! We should NOT degrade our national song by asking us to sing it in a CINEMA!

...We might as well say we sing it in a theme park, or before a concert, or before an orchestra performance, or even in the airport when tourists arrive. Haiyoh.

And I know youngsters these days are rebellious (but their aim of rebellion is for the worse and not for the better. *sigh* Gone were those good ol' days when we rebel for the right...I think only a few of us past generations remember what it's like....you don't get me? *sigh* I'll talk about it some other time...) , so they'll not sing the anthem, or stop visiting the cinemas for good, and start buying pirated movies...can't you see?

...so this act of making people sing the anthem in cinemas is bad. We can try to encourage it only, but definitely not enforce it. How can you jail people for this? Not like we're degrading the song. This act of forcing us to sing in the cinema will do that.

The anthem's an important song to the country, and therefore it's important that we know where and when to sing it, and it's definitely not in a CINEMA. We sing in school, important functions, during sports championships, NS, army camp, all these important places that we show our love and respect to our country. NOT IN A CINEMA, GET ME? The cinema's an entertainment place, and you DO NOT sing the national anthem in an entertainment place. It's not the right place for the song.

The national anthem deserves more than that.

....ah, this topic will never end if I'm gonna continue typing. So guys, share with me your views ^-^

Just for fun ^-^ Dare you take the test?..

2005-05-31T19:44:00.000+08:00

A friend created his quiz and it inspired me to make my own, so here it is!

http://www.stumpyourfriends.com/stump2.cgi?44113262842005

1st clue: YOU MUST READ THE QUESTIONS PROPERLY!
2nd clue: Answers can be found in my Lj and DA page. (since a lot of people finds it hard)

So, good luck guys! ^-^

Uploaded Vergil's portrait liao ^-^

2005-05-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

Check it out here: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/18555882/

Took me a bit longer than when working on Dante's one ^-^;;;; about roughly 6 hours (1 hour for the framework, 2 hours for the face, 1 hour for the hair, and 2 hours for the coat ^-^;;;). But I'm pleased with the outcome.

And it did strike me that Vergil uses a LOT of hairgel ^-^;;; and drawing his coat almost killed my pencil (and me ^-^;;;)

When I'd placed both artworks together (Dante and Vergil)....Vergil's one looked sooooo much better than Dante's one. ^-^;;;;;;;;;;;;; Oops.

About that I guess~ ^0^

Got bored. Sue me.

2005-05-14T18:21:00.000+08:00

Since I was busy waiting for the DMC3 trailer to load, I'd come up with my own funky DMC3 DeviantID. XD Oooh....lovin' it XD

Go here if you wanta see: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/18302529/

Just some basic stuff about me though. But I LUV the pic of Dante...looks so darn cool (but he always looks so cool anywhere, anytime XD)

Shall now go off to get some work done...

-Lammy-

YAY! IT'S FINALLY UPLOADED!!~

2005-05-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

Yeap...it's officially up on DA. Go here to check it out:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/18088062/

^_______________^ Happy liao.

Let's see who's next on the list....heeheehee...*evil grin*

WHAT?! It's 25.3MB?! =.=

2005-05-08T13:38:00.000+08:00

Okay...I've scanned the drawing in (after unsuccessfully trying to take it with my bro's useless digicam =.= that keeps giving the face/hair/chest too much spotlight) and DA's taking ages to upload it =.=

JPEG itself is 1.93MB. =.=

Which means I will probably upload it later at night when I'm finally connected with streamyx >.<

Am terribly sorry for the delay, but the waiting is worth it, IMO ^-^

It's DONE! ^-^

2005-05-07T15:33:00.000+08:00

DMC fanart is finally completed after working on it for approximately 4 hours *nods* One of the works that I'd spend much time and effort on...and the result is definitely pleasing XD

Shall post it on DA either later or tomorrow ^-^ once I get that digicam cable from my bro...

New chapter in my ficcy ^_^

2005-04-30T19:20:00.000+08:00

Although Fanfiction.net seems dead (devoid of people updating, devoid of people reading, devoid of reviewers), I'm still gonna update no matter what.

'Coz I know I have neglected all my fanfics for a reeeeeeeeeeally long time. *nods* And I felt bad for letting it lay in the computer under risk of computer crashes and/or pixel dusts growing on it.

But. Like all writers out there *cough* I'm always waiting for a review. (since when fanfic writers doesn't want a review?) But when I looked at my miserable fic....*wonders* Not to say I'm greedy or write for the sake of reviews, but I need to know where my writing skills stand (miserable as it is IMO or not.)

Ah, enough. Just go read (check under my links; story updated's 'Destined to be Free', but need to wait a while before FF.net uploads it properly)

For now...am reading Peptuck's "Blood of the Chimera" (already, the title promises something ;D), and later gonna find that elusive DMC fic "One Will Fall"...

Finally joined DA ^-^

2005-04-29T14:49:00.000+08:00

Joined yesterday, uploaded fanart today ^-^ 'Coz was deciding which one to put up first...go here http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/17749932/ to check it out~ (is Matantei Loki Ragnarok wallpaper by the way ;P)

What do you think of it?

Jammin' Comps and my Artistic Streak

2005-04-26T13:39:00.000+08:00

My comp just jammed twice in one hour, and I got worried - has my comp been attacked by some virus/worm/trojan? Got the antivirus up and running for the time being...

And - this got me thinking since the start of hols - should I join DA (DeviantArt)? Not that I have any great pictures, but I want to know where my level of creativity and artistic skills are. The only modified pictures I have are mostly anime-based, FF-based, and Windows-based (Ya know, those 4 standard sample wallpapers that come in all Windows? I modified 'em to look more...nicer? ^-^;;;;)

Any suggestions/support is very much welcomed....^-^

Finally, it's settled ^-^

2005-04-26T12:23:00.000+08:00

Hosted my own image, linked it, and ta-daa~one beautiful Farplane background for the blog ^-^

Amano's artwork never fail to amaze me ^-^

Wonder if he'll release some pictures for FF7:AC?

Temporary layout for the moment ^-^

2005-04-25T20:01:00.000+08:00

Until I can find back that big Farplane picture, this shall have to do ^-^

Title looks awkward....gotta change it later.

Now going to play TSO~~~

That's it. I. Need. Help. >.<

2005-04-22T12:08:00.000+08:00

How do you change the blog background???????

Okay...first things first....

2005-04-22T11:26:00.000+08:00

I know I have to change my blog heading (I'll come up with something better...) and I desperately need to change the background...problem is, my HTML skills are rusty since I've last used them in Form 2, and that is about 4 years ago.

I've gotta look up those HTML help pages again...>.<

My first entry in Blogger :)

2005-04-21T20:43:00.000+08:00

I will only update once in a while (regularly at Lj), so it might seem I'm months away from updating....

Short post. Coz nothing to add :P